Here is my love letter to fashion and how our relationship with each other evolved!

Dear Fashion,

I have loved you for as long as I could remember. I first fell in love with you when I watched the movie "Don't Tell Mom The Baby Sitter's Dead" and would replay the part of the movie where Christina Applegate was having a runway show at her house. My love amplified when I started my first job in a retail store. My favorite day of the month was payday because I knew that I would buy one item and then get another thing half off. I couldn't wait to get that hit of dopamine I constantly craved from shopping. Unfortunately, my love for you turned into an obsession which then turned into my perfect drug.

I struggled with insecurities but always found solace in drowning myself in the fashion magazines, Pantone colors, and wearing the latest up-and-coming designs. Don't get me wrong. I love the art and design that comes with Fashion! I love the handwork, the details, and most of all, creating garments from sketches. Heck, I started my womenswear line because all I wanted to do was create, but when you do things for the wrong reason, chase fame and fortune, things don't always end well.

My two most significant turning points in my life when it came to Fashion were at the age of 26 and 31. At 26, I got a phone call that triggered my life enough to change it 180 degrees and finally face my fashion addiction. I faced my $100,000 debt of just clothing, got into counseling, started a full-time job after working for myself, and set myself up into a debt management program. At 31, I watched the movie "True Cost," which turned my life upside right and began to focus my efforts on being part of the solution rather than continuing to be part of the problem.

I felt angry. I felt ashamed. I felt lied to, but the only thing I could do was build a better relationship with myself. I had to start over and understand that my self-hate was more significant than my self-love. I had to unlearn everything I had thought I knew, to relearn a whole new way of viewing life and Fashion. I had to get honest with myself and to understand that the clothing was just my temporary mask. I would use clothing to hide and numb myself from feeling my emotions. It was a toxic and unhealthy relationship. No amount of clothing and other material possessions could ever fill my empty void.

Fashion, I still love you but in a healthy way. It has taken me quite a journey to get here, and I am always working on my relationship with you because that is what I am doing with myself. I do not purchase nearly as much clothing as I used to because I do not need to. I already have what I need, and when I do need something, I make sure to see what I have in my closet first. If I don't have anything, I can alter the item. I will only shop at a swap shop, thrift store, or an ethical company.

As I continue to grow, so does my courage in continuing to share the truth about the light and the dark side of you, Fashion. This is only the beginning, but I believe that the truth will always set us free and inspire others to view their relationship with clothing, shopping, and Fashion.

I am looking forward to our new life together. We have a lot of work to do, but I am excited to do things the healthy way!

With love,

Isabel Varela